I am trying hard to keep this from becoming a rambling list of grievances. Not easy, and I have not always succeeded; however, let me assure you, dear reader, that I am here by my own free will. I know of the pitfalls, and yet I remain. Why? Money. The lucky buggers seem to have come up with an idea that might yet succeed despite their every effort to thwart it.
I have written this one several times trying to wrestle humor from it, and yet I cannot. I accept this as my failing as I cannot help but chuckle at the situation.
Imagine if you will (I don't have to, I can recall --it was just this morning), waking to a ringing phone at 7:40. Now imagine it knowing that your alarm was set for 7:45. Is there anything worse than a call five minutes prior to your alarm going off? Well, I guess an extended stay at Guantanamo might be worse, but you get my point.
So, it is your work-at-home day and the phone rings five minutes prior to your alarm going off and it is your boss. Or, in my case, it is DC our intrepid CEO. He has come up with a new marketing plan and needs me at the office at 8:30 to go over it in detail. Now, getting from bed to work in 40 minutes can be done, but not done easily.
There I sat in the board room: hair askew, shitty coffee from the deli downstairs in hand, but otherwise in fine form. Our head engineer follows me into the room and takes his seat. We mumble sleepy greetings and I return to setting up my laptop --for some reason it does not want to connect with the company's network this early in the morning.
It is 8:35 when our project manager collapses in her seat apologizing for being late.
Do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do.
For those who don't recognize that, it is the theme from Jeopardy.
8:50: my cell phone chirps.
It is DC, our CEO, the guy who called this extraordinary meeting.
He is running late and promises to be there in 15 --he never says what units: could be hours for all I know.
I take advantage of the delay and go round the room taking orders. Next, off to McDonalds (a 5 minute walk) for breakfast for all --and less unpalatable coffee.
9:45. Everyone has finished their breakfast, deserted the boardroom and returned to their chores for the day. I decide it is time to go home and get started on my day. I text DC my plans to depart.
I meet DC coming off the elevator as I am getting on. He is not happy with my refusal to waste my morning waiting for him (remember folks, I am not on salary: I am on commission) and if he could frog-march me back to the office he would. Obediently, I followed him back.
He needs a few minutes before the meeting.
10:00. Exactly one and a half hours late, DC, who kept me from the most important 10 minutes of my day (that would be the five minutes before my alarm goes off and the five minutes after), starts the meeting.
He talks in great depth about how we are going to attack a new type of client. He talks about how we are going to tweak the solution so that this new breed of client will be left in the dust if they do not use us. He is incredibly excited. He wants me to start setting up meetings immediately. He asks the engineer and PM for a wag (wide assed guess) on how long it will take to do the tweaks, because we cannot set up any meetings til they are done.
The answer: 7-9 months.
I hear my bed calling, but the coffee has kicked in.
Arrgghh...
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